Finding Self-Belief Through EFT with Meryl Haytonv

S09 | 7 – Finding Self-Belief Through EFT with Meryl Hayton

Lindsay Recknell Hope, Podcast Leave a Comment

What is your goal? Why do you want that? And what is stopping you from reaching it?

Very likely, you are stopping yourself in some way. Whether it’s self-doubt, internal negativity, or even not listening to yourself.

If you’re looking to overcome this fear and doubt, today’s guest may have a solution for you. Meryl Hayton is an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Practitioner, and she’s joining me today to talk about the healing that EFT can bring into your life. EFT can help you let go of attachments that hold you down and get to the root cause of your stressors so that you can find belief in yourself, overcome triggers, and reach your goals.

Meryl believes in this so strongly because she knows first hand how important it is to heal from past trauma and have the confidence in yourself to follow your chosen path. She’s built a life she loves, and you can too. It’s never too late to make the switch. Tune in!

About Meryl Hayton:

Meryl Hayton is an Accredited Certified EFT Practitioner helping stressed and overwhelmed spiritual professional women heal from their past keeping them currently stuck so they open up to receive more love, respect, support, free time and money in their lives.

She loves facilitating my clients through deep healing & transformation of their inner critic and inner child! Meryl was an Accounting Professional turned Nail Salon Owner and now EFT tapping coach, using her fingers all along the way.

She’s been on a lifelong journey of healing herself and found EFT to be the catalyst which helped her quantum leap her results faster than anything, and it’s her mission to share it with the world.

To learn more you can visit her website or find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

Mentioned In This Episode:

Transcription:

Lindsay Recknell 0:03
Hello and welcome to another episode of The Hope motivates action podcast. I’m your host Lindsay Recknell. And it is my pleasure to introduce you to this week’s guest, Meryl hatin. Meryl is an accredited, certified EFT practitioner helping stressed and overwhelmed spiritual professional women heal from their past, so they can open up to receive more love more respect, more support, free time and money in their lives. And accounting professional turned nail salon owner and now EFT tapping coach Meryl loves facilitating her clients through deep healing and transformation of their inner critic and inner child. She has been on a lifelong journey of healing herself and found EFT to be the catalyst which helped her Quantum Leap her results faster than anything. It’s Meryl’s mission to share this with the world. So without too much more from me, let’s start the sharing. As a reminder, if you’re interested in any of the books, resources and tools I mentioned in this episode, all the links you’ll need can be found in the show notes of your favorite podcast player, or head to the blog and pod page at my website at www expert in hope, calm, and you’ll find them all there too. I truly believe that the future will be better than today, by taking action over the things we can control in conversations like this really reinforced that hope. Let’s get going on this one. Hello, Meryl. Welcome to the show. I’m so happy that you can join us today.

Meryl Hayton 1:24
Thank you. Happy to be here.

Meryl Hayton 1:26
It is a been a cool, cool getting to know you. I mean, I don’t know you very well. So I’m looking forward to this conversation. But some of the life experiences that you’ve had over your personal life as well as your career life really demonstrates how you use hope to motivate action in your life. And I’d love for you to start off the show by sharing your story with us and how, how hope shows up for you.

Meryl Hayton 1:49
All right, fantastic. Well, I guess, to start, I was someone that didn’t feel hopeful. You know, when I was growing up, I had an incredible amount of negativity in my head. And I just was always thinking about how can I change that? I don’t understand why I have it. And I would say in my early 20s, I really started to dive into how can i What can I do with this? How can I change right? I knew it wasn’t serving me. And I doubted myself and you know, just a lot of chronic negativity. And although I had that, I, you know, I was working in corporate America. But I knew that I had this passion for doing nails ever since I was about nine years old, it was just like a pastime of mine, you know, doing that. And I was going to college at night as I was working in corporate America, following my family’s dreams of being an accounting professional, like a business professional. And I really just didn’t like working for anyone. And I didn’t love the nine to five hours. And I just said, you know, I’m going to nail school. So I quit college, I kept my corporate job for another couple of years. And I you know, got my Madikeri license. And then I took a few years to hone my craft, and then left everything left all the benefits, you know, left the 401k my five weeks of vacation, whatever I had, I was there for about six years or so. So and just, you know, went out on my own and I had a very successful salon for over 25 years, but still had all of this negativity in my head. And the way that it really showed up in my life is my relationship suffered, I made the wrong decisions in my intimate relationships with men. And because I was constantly trying to fill this void and wanting to be liked and accepted and stuff like that. So that’s kind of how it showed up in my life a lot of like this grasping and then after about 20 years of being in my salon I was suffering from extreme burnout. I knew that there was I was there was a calling for more you know, I was always spending a lot of time with my clients in the salon and getting to know them quickly on a very deep level. I think was his is one of my you know, talents or you know like I’m like very detail oriented and I think that the details that I you know detail oriented in the accounting professional worked. detail oriented in the nail salon really worked. detail oriented in Listening to people and what their needs are really worked. And that’s, I think, one of the reasons why you know, I’m successful with my coaching business is part of that is because of the details, I can really listen in on the details, and help someone to figure out you know where to go next on their healing journey and, and you know, and take them quickly through healing. So, when I was burnt out, I ended up becoming a yoga teacher. And that’s kind of how I started really listening into what I needed to do for myself in order to heal. And, and honor my needs. Because I wasn’t, I was in the salon burned out, I wasn’t honoring my knees, I was, you know, working back to back to back with clients with no work for many, many years. And I wasn’t taking care of myself. And I finally learned how to do that. And then kept cutting down my hours in the salon and researching. I think I want to become a life coach, you know, just kind of research that.

Meryl Hayton 6:20
And I would say in 2017, I met my first coach, Dr. Kim D’Eramo. She’s amazing. We’ll give her a plug here. And she practiced EFT, tapping. And then I started to follow all the popular EFT tappers. And you know, when I had my first I took me many months, actually to really even like EFT tapping, I’ll have to say, and because it wasn’t until I had my own major profound aha moment that I said, Oh my god, I really have to, you know, I really have to learn this, right, I really have to do this regularly, like, you know, I have to know more. And, and I did, you know, I followed all the top people in EFT tapping and the founder of EFT, tapping, and I joined all the memberships and all the site. So you know, and all that. And then finally, you know, Stan stayed with it for many years. And then I knew that it was the modality that I needed to become certified in, right. And once I was certified, I knew I wanted to continue on to be accredited, because that was going to set me apart in the tapping world, because my mentor spent eight months with me critiquing, you know, like, 100 hours of my work. And which means I had to write down word for word what I did in my sessions with people, and then she went through with a fine tooth comb, and then we would speak, live on Zoom about those sessions and how I could have done better and, you know, and all that. So, it was very difficult, but a, an amazing experience that, I think, really should be mandatory for anyone who’s going to be certified. So anyway, so I’m accredited now, I mean, since July, I guess. And, and it, you know, being in the coaching world, and having my own coaches and learning EFT in the last, you know, over these last few years since 2017, that’s what has helped me to shift most of my negativity, and most of my doubt, and, you know, all of that, you know, inner criticism, and I did my own re parenting and inner child work, and I had have had the fastest results and quantum leaps in my life. Due to all of that in the shortest period of time, because I did before 2017 I had therapists, I read books, I did all the self development stuff, and the journaling and the workshops. But I just still, I just wasn’t getting anywhere. I felt like I was just talking about my stuff and I wasn’t really healing. And you know, so now what I do is help people to heal with the ways that I’ve healed myself. So I call myself an accredited certified EFT practitioner. And inner child, healer and inner critic, healer that’s pretty much like my tagline that I like to use, because that’s really what I’m doing. You know, I do have a niche for my business and You know what I’ve, we’re, I’m just feel blessed that I get to do this work. Really?

Lindsay Recknell 10:09
What a beautiful story. So cool to see like to hear kind of the transformation in your voice over those, I don’t know, 40 years, let’s say, You’re right from having a hobby, a passion as a child to do nails, but following other people’s expectations of yourself and the traditional pathways, but then having the confidence and sort of you get to that place of in tolerability to make a move to say, No, I’m going to follow my dream I’m going to do you know, go to Medicare to esthetician school, a beauty school, figure out what you need to do make that very successful, but then still the self awareness enough to recognize that there has to be something more for you. When and then to make that switch and your I imagine in your 30s,

Meryl Hayton 11:01
low 40s. I was, I’m 52.

Lindsay Recknell 11:04
Amazing. So in your 40s to make a change like that,

Meryl Hayton 11:08
yeah. 49 I completely changed my life. That’s amazing.

Lindsay Recknell 11:16
So many people I hear. That’s terrifying to them. They’ve invested so much time and energy into a career. What would you say to people who are in that place listening to your story going? There is no way. At fifth? I am making a switch like this?

Meryl Hayton 11:33
Yeah. Well, you know, one thing that I have learned is that when you are excited about something, but still have fear about something, you need to go for it. Right? Because that’s your intuition is telling you this is the right path for me, even though I still might have some fear. Okay, right. So you get this, so you get support to help you wipe out the fear. Right? So like, so I have a team, I have a team of people, right? Because I had lots of friends and lots of family members that kept telling me go find a job, go get a real job, Merrill, like when I was healing and building this business. Come on, it’s enough already. Right? Go Go get a real job, isn’t it time? And I would say I would, I would pretend like I was putting on, you know, the things that horses wear on their ears or on their eyes? What are those things? Like? Yeah, the blinders, like, I just pretended that I’m not hearing that on my hearing you blah, blah, blah, and right, and I just said, No, I know, I am on the right path. I know I’m on the right track, I cannot veer off, you know, just to make a couple of dollars or whatever, and not feel satisfied, to then get back on my path or something like I was not doing that. And there were definitely many days where I felt very frustrated, and why isn’t this working fast enough? And what do I need to learn? And what do I need to do? And, you know, I just, I needed the support. So I have accountability groups and business, you know, colleagues with accountability groups, and I have my own coach been working with the same coach on and off now for about two and a half years. And you need it. You know, it’s not just, you know, once you’ve done the healing part, you still need to have someone that keeps you in that courageous mode. You know, I mean, I I was given the inspiration a year ago from a coach of mine to move to the beach. And I did exactly a year later, you know, and it was because I had hope. That’s why

Lindsay Recknell 13:56
it just gives me shivers to see you speak from people. I wish I doses of audio or video podcasts to tell me so EFT tapping, what is it? What is this session look like? What is that? Can you explain that experience to us? Because it’s not audio, or it’s not video?

Meryl Hayton 14:12
I mean, yeah, sure. Absolutely. I’d love to. Okay, so EFT means Emotional Freedom Technique. And just like an acupuncturist uses needles in your meridian points, and they might put them all over your body, we are typically tapping on certain points side of the hand, top of the head, inner eye, outer eye, under the eye, under the nose, on the chin, under the collarbone and under the armpit area. That’s like the basic recipe. There are other tapping points that I do use in my sessions. But that’s the basic recipe. And if someone was, I mean, for the sake of this specific podcast, like I doubt that I’ll ever, you know, be able to follow My dreams, let’s just go with that. Okay. And on a scale of zero to 10, I’m feeling like it’s an eight today. All right, and we would start on the side of the hand. And we would say, even though I’m doubting myself today, because I feel like, I’m never going to be able to move to the beach, so it’s that we’re build my business or whatever your thing is, you can fill in the wine. I’m choosing to honor how I feel right now. Right? And then we would go through the tapping points and focus on doubt, doubt, doubt on all the points. And then I would take a pause after one round. And we would say, you know, I would ask them, Are you just kind of settle in for a moment? And then share with me? What was that like for you? And usually, they would say, I feel a little bit better. I feel a little bit calmer, okay. You weren’t feeling calm? So where is this doubt in your body? Do you feel that somewhere in your body? Yeah, it’s like in my upper stomach, okay, maybe in your third chakra. If there’s a tightness in my chest, or I don’t know, there’s pressure in my head, these are just certainly are a heaviness in my shoulders, right? So then we might do another round, we’re adding in, okay, all this doubt in my chest, all this doubt in my shoulders, right. And that helps to connect the mind and body together and really focus in zero. And you really want to be zeroing in on the specifics of how you feel in your mind in your body, because that’s what helps to wipe it out the fastest. And I know, if we do around, if I do a round or two with my clients, and we’re only coming down, like a point, I we’re not on the right thing. Right, so I asked more questions to get more focus, or maybe we tap around on, I’m not really sure what it is right, you can even tap that way and just kind of have conversation, I would obviously bring them down, we would work on their issue until they were down to a zero. And if you’re close to zero, you can do okay, um, I’m noticing that, you know, we can bring in like positive affirmations and things like that, right? So you can, I’m feeling hopeful now, right, and you can tap in positive affirmations, I can see my dream house, I can see my business, I can see myself, you know, 20 pounds lighter, I can see my set, whatever it is, and you can kind of tap in this new image, or this new life style, or this new business or whatever you you want. You can also use tapping in that way. But I highly recommend that you wipe out the negativity first, right before you get to the positive affirmations and everything, because otherwise, you’re just kind of floundering around with it, you’ll still have the doubt. And it’ll come and go when you might feel a little bit better temporarily. But it won’t last. It won’t last for a long time. And one of the things that EFT does a few of the things, it dismantles the attachment that you have to anything. So while I do have a niche in my business, it works on anything from food cravings, to removing negativity to illness, chronic pain, all sorts of stuff. And, and I have a process that is uncover, remove, reframe, and anchor in. That’s my process that I use with my clients. And it absolutely, there’s no question that it works. And you know, because we’re, we’re uncovering why they are not getting the results they want in their lives.

Meryl Hayton 18:51
We’re removing the emotional intensity to their current stressors, and where it started from so finding the root cause. And then we’re reframing. So we’re creating rewiring the brain and reframing and creating new neural pathways, and EFT helps to do all of that. And then we’re anchoring into this new hope. Right, this new self image, this new belief, right? So that’s the process that I use with my clients. Yeah, and, you know, whenever I work with my clients, I have them fill out a questionnaire and on the questionnaire, it says, like, you know, removing this from your life will make you feel what, and why do you want it? And I asked them when many levels will Why do you want to make more money? Well, I want to I don’t want to have credit card debt. Yeah, but why do you really want to make more money? Right, and you keep asking until you get under the layers of Well, I really want more freedom in my life so that I can volunteer or that I can open up Animal Shelter? I don’t know, right? I can buy the vacation home way, right? And you really get to, I want to make sure that I leave a legacy for people, whatever it is, right. And I always bring in my sessions with my clients, even if I’ve been working with them for six months, I just go back to the goal, what’s the goal? And then we keep just wiping out the layers and wiping out the layers until there’s nothing left. Sounds like an incredible experience. Yeah, and then send them on their way.

Lindsay Recknell 20:36
So, so many questions. So, um, so you legit, like, physically tap in the certain spots? Which is very cool. Why? Why is that a thing? Like, why does? What’s the science behind that physicality of it?

Meryl Hayton 20:55
Yeah, it’s chapter, it’s tapping on the meridian points, and it, it shifts your energy. It’s just what it does. And what’s the meridian point. It’s an energy point that runs from, you know, the top of your head down to your foot or at the top of your head to your finger or right. And there’s hundreds of them, I think they say there’s 300 or something in your body, but we really focus on the main ones. And when you do the basic recipe that I was describing to you, you hit all the main ones, by doing that basic recipe.

Lindsay Recknell 21:35
Beautiful, and, and how like, so you work with clients for typically how long?

Meryl Hayton 21:42
Okay, somebody six months.

Meryl Hayton 21:45
But this feels like something, that proactive maintenance would be a good idea.

Meryl Hayton 21:53
Yeah. So it’s not just like, when I work with my clients, it’s usually every other week, we meet for 90 minutes, and it’s intense healing, and then they need the time in between to let that integrate and right. And then their homework is to be tapping consistently, because you can simply just tap and also breathe on the points, right? It doesn’t have to be tapping with words all the time. Because as a matter of fact, if you’re at a high number, you really don’t want to be using words, because most likely, you’ll just intensify your feelings. So you can tap on the points and just take a deep breath, and like go through the points, right, and just take a deep breath on each point. And it’s very calming it, you know, EFT very quickly calms your energy calms your nervous system, and with consistent daily practice, you can completely, you know, switch the way that you react to life or things that trigger you to responding effectively. Right, because, and they say, science says it takes at least eight weeks to create new neural pathways in your brain. So if you, you know, your whole life, you’ve had this negative circling thought in your head of doubting yourself, right? It’s going to take at least eight weeks to start to rewire that and create, you know, so that you start to behave in a different way, and start to respond in a different way. So you have to be practicing for longer than that, in order for it to really last and stay. Right. So I always encourage my clients to obviously practice in between.

Lindsay Recknell 23:45
So it is something you teach clients to do when you’re not with them. So does that mean that you can only like, do you do virtual sessions also, I do, they all have to be in real life.

Meryl Hayton 23:57
Everything I do is remote. And all our sessions are recorded, so they keep them you know, so they can refer back to them when they need accountability. But with my private clients, I also offer Voxer support. So they have me almost 24/7 in between their sessions. So when they’re feeling down, or they’re not sure what to do, or how to tap or they have a question on something, or need accountability, or whatever it is, you know, I’m there for them. So it’s not like they’re just kind of left off. Yeah.

Lindsay Recknell 24:30
Well, and it is quite hopeful. It makes me feel quite hopeful that you, you have the opportunity to positively impact so many people because you’re not you’re location agnostic. You can literally anybody who’s listening to the show, can get in touch with you to have this kind of healing. And if there’s people that are listening, that are thinking, that sounds terrifying, you know, I’m gonna have this I’m gonna have this experience and it’s gonna feel hard, and it’s going to be triggering Um, what? How do you overcome the how do you overcome that?

Meryl Hayton 25:04
You know what? Perfect question I’m so glad you asked. Because I’ll say for one of my clients, we were working on something. And it brought her back to a traumatic event when she was five. And I said, you don’t even have to tell me what happened. I said, we’ll use a clearing tool. And all you’re going to tell me is how it made you feel. But you don’t even have to tell me any of the details. And in one session, we wiped it out. I mean, she’s been working with me for six months, but you know, in one session, we wiped out the intensity to that. So when she thinks about that, now, even months later, it’s just neutral. She can recall the event, but it’s neutral, there isn’t any trigger, or emotional attachment to it anymore. So that is amazing. That, you know, I can guide people through. Through that, it’s, it really is amazing. Because I’m constantly, you know, I work with different people all the time. So everybody has different issues. And, you know, I never know what’s going to happen next, for where we’re going to go, I’m I’m guiding people. Together, we’re doing the tapping, and I’m guiding people how to use it. And then as you remove all the emotional intensity, and I’ll call it clutter in your system, it opens up your wisdom to take you down the path to the next place that we need to go in order to heal for you. Right. So that’s, you know, so I never know who exactly, I don’t know what’s going to come up from them. Right. You know, so it’s really amazing.

Lindsay Recknell 26:47
Amazing. It sounds so powerful. And so healing. Yeah, very, very cool. I No idea. This is not a, this is not an experience that I have any frame of reference for, which is why I love this show. I get to talk to the coolest people. We’re coming to the end of our time together, amazingly. And there’s one question that I asked all of my guests, and that is Meryl, what gives you hope?

Meryl Hayton 27:14
Well, um, you know, just repeat what I said before, is having the support system that keeps me in check. You know, because I am human. And, you know, our old patterns do sometimes come up, especially when you’re up leveling, right, I just went through a major up level of moving to the beach and selling my condo, and now I’m renting somewhere. And you know, and I mean, it all feels right and feels like home. And doing something like that stepping in right leaning into the things that you want, it ends up giving you hope. Because you realize, oh, it is what I’m supposed to be doing. Right. And I think when you learn to practice, I’ll say this type of lifestyle, you start to realize that the more you step in and the more you lean in, you know, the more often things happen your way the things that you want, and you will feel more hopeful. More of the time than not, it’s just, it’s just the truth.

Lindsay Recknell 28:28
And it’ll compound on each other in a positive way. Yeah, I can absolutely relate to that. And you are creating a future better than today when you are getting rid of some of that noise. When you are healing from some of those traumas and your lived experiences. I can absolutely see how you are truly giving people hope into how they can live their lives in a better way in a more hopeful, positive way. Tell us how we can get in touch with you. I imagine there’s gonna be people clamoring at your door who how can how can we get in touch with you?

Meryl Hayton 29:02
Everything is under my name, like my website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, is all Merrill Hayton, I do have a private Facebook group empowering spiritual professional women to beat self sabotage. That’s my niche pretty much. So helping them to completely get rid of their own fear and doubt and unworthiness and not enough misses. Right? So they build a life that they love. And you can I do offer a one hour free breakthrough clarity call where there’s no pressure or obligation to sign up. It’s just a time you know, if you’re wanting to know what it would be like to work with me. You know, I’m happy to do that and you will get breakthroughs and clarities and clarity on how to move forward. Definitely, you know, in Your Life. And I do have a group program that is coming out at the beginning of February. So that’s, you know, stay tuned for the marketing on that.

Lindsay Recknell 30:17
And we will link to all of these things in the show notes for this episode for sure your episode is going to come out kind of mid January. So the timing are perfect for anybody who is wanting to participate in a group program. Merrill, this has been incredible conversation, I have learned a ton I have to tell you, I had no idea what what kind of experience I was even in for. So I really appreciate you spending your time with us your time with us your expertise, and teaching us so so much about about your specialty, and how it can truly help make the world a better place. So thank you for spending your time with us.

Meryl Hayton 30:50
There was my pleasure. Thank you.

Lindsay Recknell 30:56
I hope you enjoyed this latest episode of the hope and motivates action podcast. These episodes are a labor of love inspiring conversations with hopeful people make my heart happy. If you also love this episode, it would be amazing if you could go to Apple podcasts and leave a review five stars if you’re into it. It’s these reviews that encourage Apple to promote this podcast to their network and the more people that listen, the more hope we can spread into the world. Don’t forget to check out the show notes of this episode to find all the links to my guests books and other resources referenced in this episode. You’ll also find the link back to my website where you will find additional support and resources for you, your team and your community. I truly believe that the future will be better than today. By taking action over the things we can control and hearing from these guests on these episodes. I know that even more hopeful future is totally possible. I’m always looking for inspirational guests so if you or anyone you know would like to be a guest on the show please reach out you can find me on the contact form of my website at expertinhope.com or by email at Lindsay@expertinhope.com. When I was a teenager, my sisters were leaving the house to go out for the night. I always made it a point to remind them to call me if they need me. It was my way to tell them that I cared and would always be there for them. I’d love you to know the same so all of you listening out there Call me if you need me. Again. Thank you for your love and support of this podcast my work in hope and your intentional focus on making your future better than today. After all, hope without action is just a wish

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

 

Lindsay Recknell | Expert in Hope | Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram

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