{"id":9803,"date":"2021-09-15T00:17:16","date_gmt":"2021-09-15T06:17:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.expertinhope.com\/?p=9803"},"modified":"2021-09-15T00:17:17","modified_gmt":"2021-09-15T06:17:17","slug":"s07-09-caring-for-yourself-as-a-caregiver-with-moira-cleary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.expertinhope.com\/s07-09-caring-for-yourself-as-a-caregiver-with-moira-cleary\/","title":{"rendered":"S07 | 09 &#8211; Caring for Yourself as a Caregiver with Moira Cleary"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"9803\" class=\"elementor elementor-9803\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-13a615e3 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"13a615e3\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-52289488\" data-id=\"52289488\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-12e0f1c2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"12e0f1c2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 25-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many people fit into the role of \u201ccaregiver\u201d, such as parents, children, and leaders. But something that all different types of caregivers tend to have in common is that they are so focused on caring for others that they stop caring for themselves in the process.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have your own journey and your own story as a caregiver, and it is not selfish to recognize that and give yourself space to just <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">be yourself<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Because caring for others is not all that you are or do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is what Moira Cleary has joined me to discuss today, and it is a very personal journey that we both have been through in our lives. I hope that through our experiences, and Moira\u2019s insightfulness on personal transformation, we can help you to better care for yourself as you navigate your own story.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tune in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/hope-motivates-action\/embed\/episodes\/S07--E09-Caring-for-Yourself-as-a-Caregiver-with-Moira-Cleary-e17ciop\" width=\"400px\" height=\"102px\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:html --><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #272727; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif; font-size: 1.8em; letter-spacing: -0.035em; text-transform: uppercase;\">About Moira cleary:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary is a Professionally Certified Coach, Reiki Master, and a mom of two daughters with 15+ conditions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Through her holistic approach, Moira helps moms of kids with medical and special needs when they find themselves literally or figuratively in life\u2019s waiting room. She basically helps them with their \u2018stuff\u2019 so they can help their kids with their \u2018stuff.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When not coaching, she tries to be a resource for others by hosting the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/survivingthewaitingroom.co\/podcast\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Surviving The Waiting Room Podcast<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/survivingthewaitingroom.co\/wellness-center\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Virtual Wellness Center<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, as well as the latest edition of the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/parentcaregiversummit.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parent + Caregiver Summit<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To learn more you can visit her <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/survivingthewaitingroom.co\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">website<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and connect with her on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/SurvivingTheWaitingRoom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/moiracleary\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">LinkedIn<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/survivingthewaitingroom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instagram<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:heading --><\/p>\n<h2>Mentioned in This Episode:<\/h2>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><!-- wp:list --><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.expertinhope.com\/s07e06\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parent + Caregiver Summit<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.expertinhope.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Visit my website for more resources<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!-- \/wp:list --><!-- wp:heading --><\/p>\n<h2>Transcription:<\/h2>\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading --><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 0:03\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hello, welcome to another episode of the Hope Motivates Action podcast. I&#8217;m your host, Lindsay Recknell. And it is my pleasure to have Moira Cleary here with me today. Hello, Moira.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 0:13\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hello, Lindsay, how are you?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 0:15\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I am doing so well, I was so looking forward to this conversation I love. You know, we connected a few weeks ago maybe. And you told me a little bit about your story. And I&#8217;m really excited for people to hear more of your brilliance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 0:28\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, thank you. I&#8217;m just excited to be here. I&#8217;ve listened to your show. And I always walk away with something. So hopefully there&#8217;s somebody out there that walks away from this something,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 0:37\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I totally believe that they will. Let me tell everybody a little bit more about you on a formal level, and then I&#8217;ll pass it over to you and have you share your story with us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 0:47\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sure.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 0:48\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So Moira Cleary is a professionally certified coach, a Reiki Master and a mom of two daughters with 15 plus conditions. Through her holistic approach, Moira helps moms of kids with medical and special needs when they find themselves literally or figuratively, in the waiting room. She basically helps them with their stuff so that they can help their kids with their stuff. When not coaching, she tries to be a resource for others by hosting the surviving the waiting room podcast, a virtual Wellness Center, as well as the latest edition of the parent and caregiver summit.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 1:22\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That is incredibly amazing, compassionate work that you do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 1:26\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I love every bit of it. If you told me a few years ago, this is what I would be doing. I would think you&#8217;re crazy. I&#8217;ve got no time for that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 1:35\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amazing. Well, tell us a little more about your journey and how you have gotten to this place from where you started.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 1:42\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sure, absolutely. You know, the journey is always long. So we&#8217;re just gonna truncate a few years.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 1:50\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When my girls really began entering puberty, like around middle school time, they started having all these weird conditions. And we had gone to doctors for years, and we had brought up these different symptoms. And then we said that, oh, that&#8217;s just normal. That&#8217;s just the way you&#8217;re made.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 2:04\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And honestly, that was a story that I heard my entire life, you know, you&#8217;re Irish, that&#8217;s just the way you&#8217;re made your normal, which is pretty much what every parent wants to hear, right. But the problem is, is when it becomes too often. And that&#8217;s the story of my daughter.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 2:22\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So one daughter has debilitating anxiety when she was Middle School. And we wondered how we were going to get her off to college, how she was going to do that. And so we took the steps we needed to ensure that was going to happen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 2:35\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our other daughter when she entered middle school, she started with chronic migraines, and she would miss like 10 days out of the month. In fact, her classmates thought she had brain cancer, because she was out of school so frequently. And we&#8217;re still working on that she has now had chronic migraines her entire life since she&#8217;s now a senior in high school. But the real, that was like the nice part, like one would have something and then the other one would, and we could have we could balance that because you know, there&#8217;s two parents in our house. And we could easily do that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 3:07\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unfortunately, the symptoms got worse, the problems got worse. And then when our oldest was entering into her senior year, just a month before school started, she collapsed like a rag doll. And everything in our house became chaos. We went to all these different specialists, we had all these different blood drones. Nobody could find any answers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 3:30\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And that&#8217;s always like a blessing and a curse. You know, when you when you can&#8217;t find the answers. Long story short, we were able to diagnose her with MECFS this chronic fatigue syndrome within three months. Normally it takes six months under the diagnosis. And that one condition triggered five or six other conditions in her body.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 3:58\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And at the same time we were still having issues with our younger daughter. She was having issues with her joints and with her migraines and we finally found a geneticist who was like welcoming us in and she&#8217;s like I see girls like you every day. You are normal, but to me and it was like, I swear like all three of us were about to cry that we finally found somebody who listened and knew the answer. It wasn&#8217;t like just drink more water. If I had heard your girls drink more water, I think I&#8217;d like, shoot myself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 4:28\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But they- It was a long journey. So it was over three years of I had a pullback from my business. I had a pullback from coaching. I never knew when the school was going to call. I couldn&#8217;t. I tried yoga for a while. I couldn&#8217;t do that because I was pulled out for an emergency. And, you know, my life was literally I realized that even when I wasn&#8217;t in a doctor&#8217;s office, I was always sitting in a waiting room. I was always waiting for something to give me space so that I could Do whatever I wanted to do. And I don&#8217;t have that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 5:02\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I still speak to a lot of women today. In fact, today, saying she didn&#8217;t have that space, she&#8217;s not have one day to herself to even think straight. So when I finally got healthy, I basically drew a line in the sand and said, we&#8217;re going to figure this out, like enough of just listening and doctors, look, let&#8217;s go to a doctor that actually can help us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So the May, so that was summer before my daughter got, was diagnosed. the May of her graduation, we got to go see a specialist in New York City. And we&#8217;re from Georgia, so it was quite the trip. But she was able to properly diagnose my daughter, know why it was probably triggered, and give her proper medications and supplements.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 5:48\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And my daughter who had been using a wheelchair off and on the entire year, was able to walk down her graduation. And I still can&#8217;t tell a story. I&#8217;ve told it so many times, and I still get choked up because it&#8217;s just, it was amazing to me we had her wheelchair in the car in case she needed it. And she didn&#8217;t . It was miraculous.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 6:07\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then our younger daughter, she got a new treatment for her migraines, and she was able to go to school full time and always be caught up. So with that breathing space, I started asking, like, do other people need coaches, because I had finally gotten a coach for myself. And she was awesome. She&#8217;s a good friend of mine. She&#8217;s very skilled. Clearly, she&#8217;s very skilled.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 6:30\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But I realized that she didn&#8217;t have kids of her own. So she couldn&#8217;t relate on that level. And that means that she didn&#8217;t understand what it meant to care for kids with chronic illness, when they were going through school when they were growing up. And that was that part was lacking. That&#8217;s the part that I wish that she could have. And, I didn&#8217;t know of any other coaches out there that did this.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 6:54\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I started asking around, like I said, I put out a survey and I got hundreds of responses back of Yes, you know, of all these and, and the amount of vulnerability that these parents and his caregivers were telling me about how they needed help and why they needed it was just overwhelming.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 7:12\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So within six months, I knew that coaching alone wasn&#8217;t what people needed. And when it&#8217;d be nice to have everything in one place. We didn&#8217;t have to go searching the internet for all the answers and who could help us. So that&#8217;s why I put together the summit.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 7:29\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And yeah, and that&#8217;s history. So somehow I find time to do it all. Along the same lines, you know, for the people out there to say I don&#8217;t have time for that. I&#8217;m totally on board with that answer. Um, I had a little more space in my life because my kids had gotten to that, that plateau.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 7:52\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And also I had other women that I can see in the same space that were able to had kids with more profound issues, that were having podcasts that were able to juggle things, that were getting respite care that were doing things I thought if they could do it, I surely could do the same thing. And why not just try. And so that that was really this whole thing has really just been one huge experiment. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 8:18\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, there&#8217;s so many things I want to say. That story I have to tell you, um, the first of which is just the hope embedded in almost every step of that journey.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 8:31\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean, from First off, your kids are having their symptoms and you think there has to be something here like, I know they&#8217;re normal. But this is not normal behavior, right? Real symptoms, like, you know, just the persistence, the tenacity, the you showing that behavior out loud, because I&#8217;m sure your kids were exhausted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 8:54\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean, one is diagnosed with chronic exhaustion, but just mentally and physically, to go again, to get up and go again. Like, amazing, all the other stuff aside, just to even start with that tenacity piece. Like, is that, is tenacity a character trait you knew you had in the face?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 9:17\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Honestly, yeah. It&#8217;s funny that you say that because no, no, that would not be it&#8217;s just basically keep on moving. Keep me like our angles. So my husband and I&#8217;ve always seen it that our job is to get them to graduate so that they can do whatever they want in life. And if we let them give in if we didn&#8217;t give them the opportunities to go to the doctors or get the medications, that that wouldn&#8217;t happen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 9:42\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And sure, there&#8217;s lots of days that they want to give up. And I just I just wouldn&#8217;t have it because they were not going to live in my house the rest of their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 9:51\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 9:53\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But you know, they need to be, they need to grow. They needed to have adulthood and I Like I said, I don&#8217;t think I said this before, but I had an undiagnosed autoimmune disease for 38 years. And I always thought, like, life has to be better than this. Like, just because I&#8217;m Irish doesn&#8217;t mean I have to feel like this way, just, you know, there should be something better than this. So I was already asking myself that question, I&#8217;d already been helping myself those questions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 10:23\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So when my daughters started having similar conditions and similar symptoms, I was like, there has to be something, there has to be an answer, if we can get an answer. And we could get a plan. And if we could get a plan, then we could move forward. And if we can move forward, then you know, life might not be exactly how we expected it to be, you know, we might be really fearful a lot of the times and hold our breaths, but you have to try it. And that&#8217;s pretty much how I run my coaching business too. So yeah,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 10:53\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amazing. I mean, you just, in your words, you shared my definition of hope. I mean, the definition of Hope is very different for a lot of people. But for me, it&#8217;s that the future will be better than today, by taking action over the things we can control. And your definite your your language, there was just about focusing on what you can control, which are the symptoms and your actions towards figuring out what is going on and getting up and going again, and try the next thing to get to towards that future better than today, which may or may not look like your, you know, perfect dream vision. But it&#8217;s got to be better than it is today.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 11:33\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Exactly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 11:34\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You know, also imagine being diagnosed, based on your heritage, like that is a very broad brushstroke to paint out an entire culture of Irish people.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 11:49\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And it&#8217;s something that I heard my entire life. And then like I said, I started hearing my doctor saying it to my kids, but I&#8217;m like, Oh my gosh,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 11:57\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">that can&#8217;t possibly be a thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 12:00\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It might just actually be because my culture actually has this type of autoimmune disease more frequently than other cultures like&#8230;anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 12:08\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, amazing. So tell me more about. So as a mother, I, you know, so I don&#8217;t have kids. So I&#8217;m presuming but as Mom, you&#8217;re trying to set your kids up for this foundation? And you know, you said you&#8217;re trying to get them to graduate so they don&#8217;t live with you for the rest of their lives?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 12:25\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, how do you also balance that sort of normal parenthood stuff, the teaching, the growing the laying the foundation stuff, with also layering on the compassion and curiosity for, you know, extenuating circumstances and special situations for your kids? Is there a balance that has to be made there?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 12:47\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every day. Every day we questioned ourselves. Like, are we doing it this way? Like, well, they&#8217;re not really doing that. And like, well, we kind of had to give them a break. But that&#8217;s because they kind of like are doing this.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 12:56\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So yeah, you kind of do all, at least I do, I question and rethink how you&#8217;re doing things. I definitely see a difference between both of my daughters, the older one, clearly being diagnosed with the most severe conditions just months before she needs to go off to school.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 13:14\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So at that point in time, she was taking over 20 pills three times a day. That is not something any college student wants to do. So she needed to learn the repercussions of not taking 20 pills three times a day. And we needed to sit back just like any parents would do, and watch their kid, you know, skin their knee and figure out how they want to do or how they want to keep on moving.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 13:37\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So with her, we didn&#8217;t have the opportunity to really help her with balancing her medication, her medical side, and her academic side. So it&#8217;s really been learning along the way and then COVID, you know, has come in and taught us something new anyway. But it&#8217;s interesting, because this semester, she&#8217;s been back for about a week and a half. And she&#8217;s already growing, like she&#8217;s already finally catching on to what this all means, and how to care for herself and how to be how to live a life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 14:09\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So it&#8217;s nice, it&#8217;s nice to see that maturity there. And my younger daughter, you know, she&#8217;s pretty much had the same routine since she was in sixth grade. So to her, it&#8217;s a routine. And, you know, there&#8217;s still that give and take, you know when chores need to be done and they can&#8217;t be done. So, you know, that&#8217;s really where, where we&#8217;ve worked with her on that stuff. But I was just sitting, she&#8217;s going to college next year, like, what does she need to know before she goes like, what do I need to prep her for?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 14:37\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It feels very intentional. A lot of what you do, and how you live, and how you parent feels intentional. Would you describe it that way?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 14:46\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think so. In fact, every morning like if they have a rough morning, I&#8217;m like, Well what&#8217;s your intention for the day? set your intention. Like how do you want to be? like choose how you&#8217;re going to show up in the world? And that&#8217;s pretty much it. how I&#8217;ve learned to start living my life of choosing how I want to show up in the world and how I want to be that day.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 15:05\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And it helps me through, you know, the really rough days because we all have those days that we&#8217;re grieving, or we&#8217;re upset, or we&#8217;re just in a funk. And are we gonna allow ourselves to stay that way?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 15:15\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes the answer is yes. But too many yeses means you can actually make a change. And so that&#8217;s when I start giving little nudges.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 15:24\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I like that too many yeses, and you realize you got to make a change. I&#8217;m a huge fan of insightful questions like that is, is that something? You must use that in your coaching, do you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 15:36\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That might just be an observation. I don&#8217;t know if I&#8217;ve ever actually said that out loud. But yes, it&#8217;s always in my head, like, okay, we&#8217;ve given you some slack. You&#8217;ve, you know, pity party a little bit. Now it&#8217;s time to start seeing what we can do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 15:47\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, it&#8217;s funny to use that language pity party. I remember, God. 25 years ago, I got laid off from a job. And I was devastated. I was young. It was my, you know, my first fancy, like, I felt really important at that job and I got laid off and miserable. And my dad says to me, no, like, feel it, take it in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 16:09\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 16:09\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hang out of this pit. You know, throw yourself a pity party. Just don&#8217;t stay too long. Like Don&#8217;t be an uninvited guest.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 16:17\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Exactly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 16:19\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But it&#8217;s true, right? Like, we know, we&#8217;re taught to well, we should be taught I think, to, to feel these things, and live them just don&#8217;t stay there. Once it&#8217;s once it&#8217;s time, you know, continue moving through to the other side, so that you can get back on the proverbial horse and keep moving forward. You&#8217;ve taken that action, right? The result? The uncomfortable times the trauma builds resilience when you come up the other side.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 16:51\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Exactly,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 16:52\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">yeah. Amazing. And tell me what gives you hope.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 16:59\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What gives me hope? It&#8217;s whenever I see that, that spark of inspiration from somebody else, you know. that unexpected pride where they&#8217;re just kind of taking back their power, and you know, moving forward, when it&#8217;s clearly a new experience for them? Like, I mean, I&#8217;m thinking about my girls, I&#8217;m thinking about what I do. I think that when clients do it, like, it just inspires me, and that just, it just builds that feeling. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 17:33\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What do you tell the clients that you&#8217;re working with the parents that you&#8217;re working with, that are in similar scenarios that you were in maybe, you know, three or four years ago? And there&#8217;s where you&#8217;re at now going I&#8217;m not going to make it? What do I do here? I&#8217;ve been in this waiting room forever. How do you get, how do you inspire hope in them, that it&#8217;s not always going to be this way?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 17:57\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, it&#8217;s funny, because ever since I actually started listening to your podcast, the way you define hope, like if you just put the word faith instead of hope that is that. So every time you say hope, I just think faith, because for me, you know that there&#8217;s a religious form of faith, but then there is or spiritual, but to me, it&#8217;s having faith in yourself. And in pulling back that power, and reclaiming it for yourself, not giving it away.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 18:28\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And that&#8217;s, uh, you know, we&#8217;re kind of forced to give it away, you know, we give it away to our kids who need us to do things that are out of our control, to, you know, we don&#8217;t have space to wrap our heads around things.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 18:42\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I have actually a framework around phase two, and it&#8217;s just about feeling like it feels as you said, right. So feel the feels, and then really think and sit with how you&#8217;re accustomed to thinking about it. You know, it&#8217;s easy enough to say like, Oh, you know, I was taught this or taught that, but no, what are you accustomed to thinking about it?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 19:04\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then Do you still believe it? Is it true and like questioning that and questioning yourself? And that&#8217;s how a lot that&#8217;s really hard for people, you know, because when you&#8217;ve been thinking something or believing something for so long, you got to question yourself, and it was right, it was wrong, that I make decisions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 19:22\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So that&#8217;s the F and the A and then the I is what do you imagine, like, what would the world be like? Thinking crazy? Like it&#8217;s kind of like that hope partly what do you hope for out of this whole thing? Let&#8217;s just think of that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 19:33\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then you know, what steps do you need to take? how- what&#8217;s a baby step? and it&#8217;s really just worth walking them through this process, whether it&#8217;s like on a big scale or whether it&#8217;s on a small issue that they&#8217;re having, that they just can&#8217;t get past or they&#8217;re grieving with. And then helping them know that they can have a go at it and they can give it a try and, and see what might need to get adjusted and what might not but, but knowing that there&#8217;s somebody there with them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 20:00\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And hearing themselves say the words as they&#8217;re walking through the process is just so empowering and it often brings them to tears, it brings me to tears because they finally see that you know, they have a life and they have a voice. And they&#8217;re not, they don&#8217;t have to live for their kids. But they can live and inspire their kids. And so that&#8217;s what we really work with on a lot.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 20:25\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That feels goose bumpy. I don&#8217;t even have Kids and that feels goose bumpy to me because it&#8217;s it&#8217;s I think it&#8217;s a scenario that a lot of- I&#8217;m using Caregivers in quotes,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 20:39\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, yes,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 20:39\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">but people who care for others, right, whether it&#8217;s been a parent situation, whether it&#8217;s in a kind of a codependent situation or, you know, a leader who, who really cares deeply about their people, right. People pleasers tend to give it away more often than they take care of themselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 20:57\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I liked what you said about that empowerment, to take that back to realize that no, no, you get to be you, as someone who cares for other people, but that doesn&#8217;t diminish who you are as a human, as a woman as a, as a man as a as in anyone. And that would be very powerful, kind of watching that transformation in people.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 21:19\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, thank you for bringing that up. It&#8217;s really about the character, it&#8217;s the person that is enveloping. And so often we see it that the way that they view the world is as a bubble in front of them that they&#8217;re caring for, and they&#8217;re standing on the outside. And they forget that they are actually inside the bubble to that they are part of the world. And it&#8217;s not, you know, everybody else that they have to hug and care for, but they&#8217;re inside of there, too. So,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 21:44\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So you know that word self care is getting better, the stigma around the world, the language of self care, I feel like is moving in a positive, positive direction. You know, we don&#8217;t just talk about it with rolled eyes and bubble baths and candles anymore.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 22:01\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But that must come up in your practice, as well, because we&#8217;re not we&#8217;re not great at putting ourselves first. and especially for caring for others who have, you know, seemingly stronger physical needs or mental needs, than we feel like we ourselves do. How do you help people kind of overcome that mental barrier that they do get to put themselves first? that that can be a thing that is in fact, the least selfish that they can be?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 22:32\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s actually one of the scariest things out there, it is so scary to relinquish control and, and take care of themselves like step back from that. And that right there that word control is usually the first thing that we need to cover.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 22:47\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because if you can ask, like I would say, most people I asked talked to, to them, they need to control the entire situation. Because if a ball is dropped, when they&#8217;re not in control, then the guilt will set and then everything else will set in. So we&#8217;re just talking about baby steps, you know, what&#8217;s something that you can do to help them help somebody else so that you can be away for five minutes, or you can be away for 10 minutes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 23:11\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And it&#8217;s just about learning and building that muscle of letting go of control of the situation of whatever it is the person you&#8217;re caring for. And then seeing that you have a little bit of space to start caring for yourself or doing some I don&#8217;t really actually usually say caring or self care. But we talked about what do you want it to? What do you need right now, what would help you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 23:33\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And so then we start doing that, or we start having those conversations, and it is all about self care, but I never use that word. Because to them, that might not be what&#8217;s helpful to them, it might be that I can sit down with a cup of tea and on my back deck and just enjoy it. And that&#8217;s all I need. And so that&#8217;s really it&#8217;s really using the language and taking those baby steps.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 23:59\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Baby steps that build that confidence, right? If you can do one small thing you feel like, Okay, well, I didn&#8217;t think I could do that. But I did. So I must be able to do the next thing,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 24:09\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">build that muscle. you can&#8217;t just you can&#8217;t just like go away and a three week, a three day tour, and think that you&#8217;re going to be able to leave everything behind. You can&#8217;t. I mean, you could but I&#8217;m sure it&#8217;ll be on the phone, you&#8217;ll be worrying and you won&#8217;t be able to separate yourself from that. So let&#8217;s start building that muscle Now. Let&#8217;s start, you know, building those things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 24:29\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And just creating that space. I like that language that you use, just creating that space to be. It feels like just creating a space to be.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 24:42\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I started this podcast and I started this work and hope comes from a very personal journey as well. And it was a caregiving journey. And I realized through the journey of mental health and addiction that we were going through that I lost myself in the process as well. So what you&#8217;re saying is resonating very very strongly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 25:02\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And one of the things that I struggled with, in doing this work and telling my story because I want, you know, I want people to hear my story so that maybe they can be inspired, you know, the same way I love to have you tell your story. so other people can, can resonate, and you know, and be inspired to, to make change or to feel better to feel like they&#8217;re not alone.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 25:24\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But one of the things that I struggle with is telling my story, without sharing the story of those involved as well, because I truly believe and I know that you do as well, that that&#8217;s their story to tell. And I know you mentioned in some of our prep work for this call that you have permission from your daughters to tell your part of their story.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 25:49\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Could you share a little bit about that just, you know, kind of conversations that you might have had with them or anything like that, because there&#8217;s probably others in this similar scenario that may want to share what they&#8217;ve learned through their journey, but are unsure of where those lines might be?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 26:05\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sure. Um, yeah, as I was going through this, I was coming out of my, you know, my tailspin days, I started writing a blog, and I was telling my story of having an autoimmune disease. And clearly, it impacted the way I was brought up. So maybe family members were in there. But I never said anything about most all from my perspective, because I didn&#8217;t want to&#8230; everybody does the best they can, it was not a blast for anybody else. It was just what I was experiencing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 26:40\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then a friend of mine was saying, okay, you know, you really just need to start a podcast, like you&#8217;re just done, we just do this, no more, no more blogging, just podcast. And I, so surviving the waiting room had come out. And I asked my daughters. I said, Well, you know, this is what, what is it going to be about? And so I said, you know, that the coaching perspective of having kids for chronic illness. And I said, but I&#8217;m gonna say, just from my perspective, and I told them that because I didn&#8217;t want to put them on the spot and ask them, and they said, good, because you&#8217;re okay, saying it from your perspective. But you&#8217;re not allowed to tell our stories.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 27:18\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And a lot of it was social media too, because you know, they&#8217;re teenagers, or going to college, they want people to know their stories, they don&#8217;t want, you know, classmates to find out their names. They didn&#8217;t want any of that. And I really respected that. And I still do, I still have to ask her permission, if they&#8217;re going to be on any social media, which is why there are no social media, I think you might have caught one post somewhere. I&#8217;m lucky that I even have it on my website, because they&#8217;re like, we don&#8217;t want our pictures anywhere.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 27:46\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But it&#8217;s interesting. We said this year, I said, you know, sometimes it&#8217;s difficult when I try to explain something, when people don&#8217;t know what conditions you have, you know, am I allowed to say your conditions now? And they had to think about it. And then they said, Okay, that&#8217;s fine. You can say our conditions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 28:04\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But it&#8217;s cool, like the communication that you&#8217;re that you, you know, that you have with them, and their openness, openness to share, you know, a little bit and a little bit more, maybe as they get more mature along the way as well. And I&#8217;m a huge believer that, you know, fears are louder in the dark. And when we talk about these things, and other people maybe feel that empowerment to be able to share what&#8217;s going on in their mind and or get the help that they need?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 28:27\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, and I think, you know, you&#8217;re modeling this behavior out loud, your kids are modeling behavior for their peers. And for you know, the kids have the clients that you work with, and they add on, I think that is very, very cool. I mean, that is very hopeful. That is very hopeful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 28:44\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. And I do understand that, you know, when you&#8217;re vulnerable, and you can share these things. It lets other people know that it&#8217;s not so crazy, like what they&#8217;re going through, that somebody else has gone through it, too. Yeah. And I think it&#8217;s really important to start sharing those pieces of the puzzle. That&#8217;s amazing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 28:59\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, this has been an absolutely incredible conversation if you can believe that. We are at the end of our time together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 29:05\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh my gosh,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 29:06\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">right. And I messed up earlier, I meant to ask you a different question. And I asked you the question that I asked everybody at the end, but I&#8217;m going to ask it again and have you summarize it. Can you summarize your thoughts here because I know people love to hear it at the very very end. and that is Moira, what gives you hope?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 29:27\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If only I can remember what I said at the beginning of the show\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 29:30\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">there&#8217;s lots of things you know you could do, you could share lots of things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 29:34\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But I do believe if this isn&#8217;t it, I do believe this is probably the gist is that. I just love seeing the spark in people. I love it when they have those moments where they stretch themselves where it&#8217;s not always comfortable. And they just basically inspire me when I see other people sparks and that really gives me hope it inspires me to be better. It inspires me to show up. And I think when people have that they should just grab it with two hands and just see wherever it takes them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 30:10\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">See, that was even better than the first answer. Because transformation is totally beautiful. It is gorgeous, messy, phenomenally. goosebump making time, you know, and it&#8217;s very, very cool. And it feels very, very hopeful. You are very, very hopeful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 30:29\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This conversation has made me feel so inspired. Thank you for sharing your story. It&#8217;s been an absolute pleasure talking to you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moira Cleary\u00a0 30:36\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thank you for having me. I hope we stay in touch because I feel the same way about you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 30:40\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, you&#8217;re not getting rid of me that easily. No, you worry. Thanks very much. Take care.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 30:49\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I hope you enjoyed this latest episode of the Hope Motivates Action podcast. These episodes are labor of love inspiring conversations with hopeful people make my heart happy. If you also love this episode, it would be amazing if you could go to Apple podcasts and leave a review five stars if you&#8217;re into it. It&#8217;s these reviews that encourage Apple to promote this podcast to their network and the more people that listen, the more hope we can spread into the world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 31:12\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&#8217;t forget to check out the show notes of this episode to find all the links to my guests&#8217; books and other resources referenced in this episode. You&#8217;ll also find the link back to my website where you will find additional support and resources for you, your team and your community. I truly believe that the future will be better than today. By taking action over the things we can control and hearing from these guests on these episodes. I know that an even more hopeful future is totally possible.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 31:36\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m always looking for inspirational guests so if you or anyone you know would like to be a guest on the show please reach out you can find me on the contact form of my website at <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.expertinhope.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">expertinhope.com<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or by email at Lindsay@expertinhope.com.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 31:52\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I was a teenager, my sisters were leaving the house to go out for the night. I always made it a point to remind them to call me if they need me. It was my way to tell them that I cared and would always be there for them. I&#8217;d love you to know the same so all of you listening out there Call me if you need me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lindsay Recknell\u00a0 32:06\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Again, thank you for your love and support of this podcast, my work in hope and your intentional focus on making your future better than today. After all, hope without action is just a wish.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Transcribed by https:\/\/otter.ai<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Lindsay Recknell | <a href=\"http:\/\/www.expertinhope.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Expert in Hope<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/expertinhope\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Facebook<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/lindsay-recknell\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lindsayrecknell\/\">Insta<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lindsayrecknell\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">g<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lindsayrecknell\/\">ram<\/a><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.expertinhope.com\/shop\/\">Take Hope Home!<\/a><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Listen to this and all episodes of the Hope Motivates Action podcast wherever you listen to your favourite content.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><!-- wp:paragraph --><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many people fit into the role of \u201ccaregiver\u201d, such as parents, children, and leaders. But something that all different types of caregivers tend to have in common is that they are so focused on caring for others that they stop caring for themselves in the process.<\/p>\n<p>You have your own journey and your own story as a caregiver, and it is not selfish to recognize that and give yourself space to just be yourself. Because caring for others is not all that you are or do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9804,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[23,22,28,108],"tags":[391,109,25,29,209],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>S07 | 09 - Caring for Yourself as a Caregiver with Moira Cleary<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You have your own journey as a caregiver, and it is not selfish to recognize that self care is important. 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